Yes…that Kevin Hart.
Kevin Hart has a talk show on Peacock called Hart to Heart and I highly recommend it! It is a long-form interview – 60 minutes with a single guest. No sketches or games – just conversation. He has had great guests like Jay-Z, Cameron Diaz, Don Cheadle, Taraji P. Henson, and Bryan Cranston. They have a glass (or two) of wine during their interview, so that likely helps…
In addition to being entertaining, it is a master class in communication skills – truly. To be fair, he isn’t doing anything earth-shattering. They aren’t new techniques. What he is doing, though, is demonstrating a mastery of the skills we have all been taught to do. I don’t think I have witnessed such a commitment to utilizing these skills and such ease in doing so.
Set Them at Ease
We know he is funny, he’s one of the highest-paid comedians today, so he better be funny. To no surprise, he uses his humor to make his guests feel comfortable and open up.
I’m not suggesting that you become a stand-up comedian. But use your gifts to create an open and collaborative environment. Whether humor, kindness, empathy, or attentiveness, lean into your authentic self to increase your communication skills.
Listen to Understand, Not to Respond
Kevin is an excellent listener! He leans in and nods along so effortlessly. You can see that he is genuinely listening to his guests – soaking in what they are saying – giving them the space to share their stories.
When we do this and listen to understand, we tell our colleagues they are important. That we care about them. And therefore, they will be more likely to share their perspectives, needs, and concerns.
One of the biggest risks we experience as leaders is team members being scared to share their concerns. We depend on them to be candid and share risks. And if they don’t feel like they are being heard, they won’t speak up. It is incumbent upon us to create an environment that encourages candor.
Focus on the person you are talking to (i.e., close your laptop), nod your head, lean in, and use verbal cues (“ok”, “really?”, “yeah”) all to demonstrate that you are listening. And with the highly virtual world we are in, turn on your camera!
Dig In to Learn More
We’ve all heard about “double-clicking” or “peeling back the onion”….whatever you call it, it is critical to ask questions – to dig into what you are hearing to learn more. There are several ways to do this: use the Five Whys Technique, rephrase what they said using a questioning tone, or simply say, “Tell me more”.
What Kevin does so well is he asks deeper questions – a “why” question but a directed “why” question. Being able to ask those pointed questions requires intentional listening and a deep level of comprehension.
Here are a couple of sample questions you can use:
- “Why do you think that happened?”
- “What could we have done differently to prevent that?”
- “Tell me more about what led us to this point.”
- “What did you find most exciting about that project? What was your favorite part?”
- “What do you think was the tipping point in the sales process, helping us win that deal?”
- “Wow, you did a great job with that customer escalation. What could the rest of the team learn from you about handling similar situations?”
- “It sounds like that was a tough project, what could we do next time to make that easier?”
Click here to check out this segment of the interview.
Give Flowers
Kevin states that a key goal of the show is to “give flowers” to his guests – to acknowledge their successes and contributions. And yes, we can learn from that too. Are you recognizing the successes of your team and colleagues? It is an important step in building a positive relationship with your colleagues. We often tend to focus on the negative – when something goes wrong. It is just as important to recognize success – when something goes right – so we can learn from those successes and repeat them.
Kevin does a great job of recognizing success because it is more than a perfunctory, “you were great.” Instead, he explains why they succeeded – what they did was special and unique. And in doing so, he demonstrates that he truly sees them.
Be Vulnerable
What I am most impressed by is Kevin’s willingness to be vulnerable. With no embarrassment, Kevin will admit when he doesn’t know something and ask for an explanation. It is so refreshing to see someone ask for help with such candor. I have rarely seen that; in fact, I more often see people pretend they know something they don’t.
In his interview with John Travolta.
JT: “When you’re unabashed about what you do, you don’t get attacked. It’s when you are…”
KH: “What’s that word again?”
JT: “’Unabashed’, like…unedited about what you are doing.”
KH: “I like the word, ‘unabashed’.”
I admit that I have written unfamiliar words down to look them up later. But why? Why not just admit that I don’t know? Others would likely benefit from the information as well. In fact, I have often asked someone to explain something in a meeting that I did know. Because it was an acronym or an industry-specific term that I knew many would be unfamiliar with. Amusingly, I did that in a large meeting last year and 3 people IM’d me privately to explain it. I told them that I asked the question for the good of the group. But I have rarely asked for an explanation for myself. Why am I ok asking for help when I know the answer, but not when I actually need the help? Maybe that is something we all could work on.
So next time you are looking for something to watch, check out Hart to Heart on Peacock. It is highly entertaining and you might learn some new skills!
I made these clips myself and am not a media specialist. Thank you for giving me grace. 🙂